Psychologist Ethan Kross joins the show to explain his work on emotion regulation, his book Chatter on the science of negative self-talk, why the ability to have an inner monologue can be a kind of superpower, and how to harness it. Kross may be a scientist by trade, but with “Chatter” he proves himself a deft storyteller who, through levity and wit, creates an easily digestible work on the brain, how it works and how we can quiet our often relentless chatter.Today’s episode is about the science of self-talk-and how our relationship to our own inner monologue can become toxic. Not all people are the same why would their treatment for chatter be? There is no one cure-all solution, but Kross provides tools we can employ to manage our own chatter and help us redirect our inner voices, including self-distancing, shifting one’s perspectives and giving in to the awe we find in nature and art. From the biblical king Solomon to the NBA star LeBron “the King” James, Kross shows us how both they and he either escalated negative chatter or mitigated it. He shares his own experiences as well as those of well-known figures. Kross keeps his argument simple and relatable. We don’t want to eradicate our inner voice we just want to have a better relationship with it.Ĭiting myriad studies to forward his thesis, Kross includes extensive notes but never leaves the reader drowning in data. Most importantly, he gives us tools we can use to manage it. It's easily digestible, as Kross forgoes the verbiage of academia and explains simply and concisely to the reader why we have an inner voice and what happens when that voice is hijacked by chatter. Kross’ writing reads less like a scientific tome and more like a casual conversation. More: That feeling you can't name? It's called emotional exhaustion. More: How to create a coping toolbox to help with anxiety, according to doctors And it is not just us it impacts negatively: More often than not, we sabotage others, including friends, and family, by reinforcing their own chatter. Our inner voice may be a biological need, but the excessive negative chatter it often produces can be harmful to our mental, emotional and physical health.

What exactly is chatter? According to Kross, “chatter” is the constant verbal stream of negative thoughts and emotions we direct toward ourselves, conversations we have with ourselves that we dwell on and ruminate over. It’s the seemingly uncontrollable negative chatter our inner voice can sometimes produce that's the problem. Neither is the fact that we have negative thoughts. That we have an inner voice is not a problem. Through good and bad, our inner voice has allowed us to not just survive as a species but thrive.

It is one of the things that makes us human.

Chatter kross